Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Parents - what are the qualifications

I read an article recently that hinted at the idea that people should have licenses for having children.

In the world that we live in today one wonders whether that is actually necessary. Take for example the laws of driving licenses. In my country I would venture to say that more than 50% of driving licenses are purchased and not EARNED as should be the case. So the whole taking the written test then the driver's test is a thing of the past. All you need to do is have enough money and you will get a driver's license.

So if our world eventually got to the stage where we needed to have a license to have children then it would become a case of paying for your right to have children.

In my opinion, this is morally wrong but I didn't raise this topic to have a moral discussion about whether it is right or wrong to give people licenses to have children. I raised the point to discuss what qualifies a parent to even have children. I observe many people who have children but I will never dare call them parents and I have seen many “parents” who have no children of their own.
Parenting is not some skill that we are born with so I'm not saying that it is easy to be a good parent, but if you as an individual make the decision to have a child - make the decision to be a parent not just a sperm or egg donor. Growing up is hard enough and if a parent is not there, then individuals never grow up, they simply assimilate into whatever culture surrounds them.

Parents are there to guide their children, to discipline them, to nurture them, to teach them. And naturally, during all this guiding, disciplining, nurturing and teaching, parents will be required to go through a lot of growing and learning if they are really a "good" parent.

For me, if your child begins to learn from mistakes, starts to get up after each fall and corrects themselves, starts to identify right from wrong and chooses right over wrong, then you the parent are heading in the right direction. I understand it's not like a mathematics exam where you know what the correct answers are. However, I do know that you can always look at a child and with 90% confidence tell if the parent was a good parent or rather, whether that child had a "parent" influencing their life. As I said I know many "parents" who have no children and many children who have no parents.

This is just my opinion. Given that I am NOT a parent I'm sure that there are other things that would and should qualify someone being a parent, but I will leave that for the parents out there to enlighten us on.

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