My writings, my thoughts, my experiences, my journey. The lessons that I learn. The lessons that I will share
Friday, April 16, 2010
Keeping going
Moving on is always hard - well at least for most people who have feelings. How do you move on? How do you pick up the pieces of your life? How do you start over?
Every situation is different but the emotions are always the same - lost, helpless, confused, angry, disappointment, sad, depressed.
How do you move on?
It's a question that every one of us may ask ourselves at some point in our lives. Whether it is from death, disappointment or any other reason, sometimes there comes a time when we feel like everything has been taken away from us. We feel like we are no longer a part of the world, we feel like an empty shell without knowing where to turn.
I am not saying that it will be easy, but some days we have to remind ourselves of what we have now! Where we are Now, and What we need to do NOW!
I know you must have heard the saying, "Don't cry over split milk". When you think about it, when bad things happen there is really nothing you can do about it once it has already happened. Many people stress themselves out about things that they cannot change. This is because most people want to be in control of their entire life. Control isn't a bad thing, but when it stops you from being able to live and "go with the flow," as some of my friends say, then it causes a substantial amount of grief.
Let's take the simplest of examples - you're trying to get an approval for funding - you have to accept the fact that YOU can't approve the funding, as such when the approval doesn't come or takes long to come don't have a nervous breakdown!!!! That will be wasting energy.
It's not so easy to translate this to say – the death of a loved one. Although one can say in a similar manner to the approval of funding - you have no control over death, the same way you have no control over the approval - a death is always and is sometimes the hardest thing for people to move on from.
In death we know that there is nothing that can be done, we know we have no control over death, and we know that since we're still alive we have to move on and deal with the living. Some people mourn the death of loved ones so much that they begin to mourn for themselves before they even die. Sometimes you begin to think of your own death or the death of another person and you begin to carry and compact unnecessary mourning, sadness and grief.
The human heart was not meant to carry such a burden and yet we hurt ourselves every time we compound mourning. Imagine carrying the loss of five members of your family all at the same time! You will wish you had died as well! But life is a balance, of gladness and sadness; suffering and joy; life and death; beginnings and endings.
We cannot have one without the other - we cannot have life without death; we cannot have success without failure; we cannot have accomplishment without struggle.
I believe that what keeps us going is the fact that if we do not supply that good, and bare the bad with a smile, we will allow more pain and suffering into the world. We have to bare the bad circumstances joyfully so that we can one day embrace and share in the good circumstances.
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