Recovering

We've all been there. Defeated! on the ground, crying bitter tears because we failed at something. The marvelous thing about life is that, so long as there is life there is hope, and there is always the chance to recover and make it better. I'm not saying that we should put off for tomorrow what we can do today! Oh no! But when we fall and tumble and get bruised and grazed remember you can always get up and try again!

I've been hearing lately of a lot of people "struggling". They don't complain however; it's almost like they know that to struggle is the only way. They know that as frail human beings we are not perfect and can never be perfect in this state. As such they joyfully struggle knowing that is the only true path to happiness. 

But what about you out there who doesn't know the joy of struggling? I look at struggling as a recovery. I remember in my good ole days of track and field our training sessions sometimes consisted of running six 150m sprints. After each 150m we would have a recovery period; this was usually no more than 2 minutes, but it is was just enough time for us to make it back around the track and start the next 150m. I remember thinking to myself once, "I just want to get these six 150m's over and done with!" At that time I was young and stupid, so rather than taking my two minute recovery I would take a brisk walk back around to the starting line and go again. 

Sure enough I was the first to finish and that was the end of training for that day! By the time I "rushed" through my six 150m's without any significant recovery, I was throwing up at the side of the track and my muscle began to cramp up to the point where I couldn't move. 

I learned a really painful lesson in the importance of recovery time. 

We get worn out sometimes, as we get older they call it "burnt out". Life starts to catch up with you, you're up early in the morning and heading to bed late at night; you're trying to accomplish the world .... on a small island, and frankly you can get overwhelmed and feel as if you're failing. 

That is when your "recovery" is needed. Sometimes when we utilize these planned recovery periods we are in a better position to understand the need for getting back up after a great fall in your life. Planned recoveries are basically planned "pauses", stops in the road toward your goal. Sometimes however we have these HUGE pauses in life, that stump us - I call those "forced" recovery periods. You are forced to stop and then start over. Sometimes they are labelled "disappointments", "failures", "challenges"; whatever these "forced" recovery periods are called we MUST look at them as just that - an opportunity to stop, recover and try again.

The only people who fail are those who don't struggle, get up and try again. No said life was going to be easy but life brings many joys once we see the opportunity in each challenge.

God First, Family Second, Career third, fourth, fifth.......

In a world where more and more people have little integrity, zero desire to do what's right and little respect for life and love, we can find ourselves in a real struggle to determine what is truly right and truly wrong.

I have come to realize and believe that without the principles of God First, Family Second and Career Third, you will not live a fulfilled life. You may live a prosperous life, a wealthy life, a "fun" life but you will have missed out on a lot.

I have observed several prominent professionals who have achieved many things in their life at the expense of their relationship with God and at the expense of having a real family life.

I read recently that during our lives we are flooded with choices; the higher paying job, the new car vs the old car, this degree or that degree. We are quite literally bombarded with CHOICES. However as we get older, for those who are conscious of the fact that we are creatures, created by God that they choice really comes down to Heaven or Hell, Everlasting Life or everlasting hatred, pain and suffering.

I think the earlier we start incorporating this fundamental choice into every aspect of our life, we will not have to worry after we retire from the high paying job whether we were a good person or not.

If when you are offered an opportunity and we say to ourselves "heaven or hell" when making the choice we are on the right track.

Life used to be easy, everyone knew what was right and what was wrong. Nowadays it is very difficult to make a clear distinction. Those of us who still live a conscious life I think it gets easier in determining right from wrong. Our emotions are not there just to lead us astray, they are like warning signals. When a choice makes your emotionally uncomfortable you're probably being challenged morally. It could however, be a sort of fear that acts us inside of you, but at the end of the day emotions let you know that a choice is on the horizon. That choice is probably trying to shake up the priority of God, family and career.

If we always keep our career as a priority ahead of family and God, we will be forever unhappy and dissatisfied with life. When a choice in your career that means twice your current salary but four hours more on the road, that should really equate to four less hours to be with my family, or four hours that I will NOT have to help the kids with their homework, or four hours that I will NOT have to spend volunteering to feed the old age, or four hours that I would NOT have that I could visit a Blessed Sacrament.

More money could never replace what is most important to you as a person. In determining what are the right and wrong choices in life we have to examine for ourselves what we value. If you value money over your children, well good for you. I will caution you to re-examine your priorities in this life so that you will be a little happier in the next.

If you value climbing the corporate ladder more than your relationship with your God and husband again, that is your choice.

But remember always that choices we are ultimately making in this life is Heaven or Hell. If we break everything we do to these two simple aspects we may find ourselves making radical decisions according to the world's standards but we will ultimately be making decisions that satisfy and fulfill.

Keeping going

Moving on is always hard - well at least for most people who have feelings. How do you move on? How do you pick up the pieces of your life? How do you start over?

Every situation is different but the emotions are always the same - lost, helpless, confused, angry, disappointment, sad, depressed.

How do you move on?

It's a question that every one of us may ask ourselves at some point in our lives. Whether it is from death, disappointment or any other reason, sometimes there comes a time when we feel like everything has been taken away from us. We feel like we are no longer a part of the world, we feel like an empty shell without knowing where to turn.
I am not saying that it will be easy, but some days we have to remind ourselves of what we have now! Where we are Now, and What we need to do NOW!

I know you must have heard the saying, "Don't cry over split milk". When you think about it, when bad things happen there is really nothing you can do about it once it has already happened. Many people stress themselves out about things that they cannot change. This is because most people want to be in control of their entire life. Control isn't a bad thing, but when it stops you from being able to live and "go with the flow," as some of my friends say, then it causes a substantial amount of grief.

Let's take the simplest of examples - you're trying to get an approval for funding - you have to accept the fact that YOU can't approve the funding, as such when the approval doesn't come or takes long to come don't have a nervous breakdown!!!! That will be wasting energy.

It's not so easy to translate this to say – the death of a loved one. Although one can say in a similar manner to the approval of funding - you have no control over death, the same way you have no control over the approval - a death is always and is sometimes the hardest thing for people to move on from.

In death we know that there is nothing that can be done, we know we have no control over death, and we know that since we're still alive we have to move on and deal with the living. Some people mourn the death of loved ones so much that they begin to mourn for themselves before they even die. Sometimes you begin to think of your own death or the death of another person and you begin to carry and compact unnecessary mourning, sadness and grief.

The human heart was not meant to carry such a burden and yet we hurt ourselves every time we compound mourning. Imagine carrying the loss of five members of your family all at the same time! You will wish you had died as well! But life is a balance, of gladness and sadness; suffering and joy; life and death; beginnings and endings.

We cannot have one without the other - we cannot have life without death; we cannot have success without failure; we cannot have accomplishment without struggle.

I believe that what keeps us going is the fact that if we do not supply that good, and bare the bad with a smile, we will allow more pain and suffering into the world. We have to bare the bad circumstances joyfully so that we can one day embrace and share in the good circumstances.

Life's Struggles

If you think that to be successful at something means that you will never fail, then you're on a very different planet.

For those of you who DON'T know, one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho, writes on his facebook page everyday, leaving a comment.

On January 17th he left this comment for us to all ponder on, "There is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for"

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/paulocoelho?ref=nf

When I look at around I see a lot of people fighting literally for something but they don't know what it is.

At the beginning of the year I broke down my resolutions into goals and for the past two weeks everything I've approached is like a goal. You don't always succeed at every goal you attempt, but the crucial point in my strategy is that I SET the goals. I have to know why I'm crawling out of my bed every morning when I much rather lay there until midday. I must know why it is that I'm eating more salad and less carbs! I must know why I spend an hour a day just reading.

You can't decide to just "do" things without a purpose. But you also have to realize that when that purpose is defined, you are probably NOT going to be successful the first time..... the second time.... the third time..... maybe even the fourth time you attempt it. But at least you have a peace of mind that you're trying at something and you know what that something is.

January is always a good month to take stock and look at your dreams, your ambitions, your goals. It is a good time to realize that you can't give up chasing after your dreams.

If you're not happy where you are today ensure that you have a goal in place so that 5, 10 or even 15 years from now you're not saying to yourself on January 18th 2020 that you're STILL not happy with where you are.

Have a great week everyone and keep up the good fight!

Live your Dreams

We hear famous writers, singers, critics and all the “successful” people of the world tell us over and over again – “Live your dreams”. They say it because at some point in time they were just like us – doing what they wanted to do – but behind closed doors, and spending most of their time doing the one thing that they didn't want to do.We always hear the story about the famous writer who used to go to his boring construction job everyday, and on every break he got he would scribe a few more paragraphs to his first book - which he had been writing for the past ten years.

We hear about the singer who used to work as a waitress and while cleaning up every evening would sing to make the work easier. She only sang in her church choir, in the bathroom shower or as she walked down the streets of her neighborhood as she aimlessly walked to the same dead-end job of a waitress. That singer and that writer both had break through moments, a moment when they no longer wanted to be where they were.

They both had dreams that lived in them and that they both lived silently, but just did not know how to harness. They both knew exactly what they wanted to do with their lives, but just did not know how to start. We were not given talents, gifts, ambitions to just leave them to rot. When you can’t sleep at night because you’re thinking about singing on a big stage, that isn’t a coincidence? When you’re packing fries in a cardboard box and you’re daydreaming about building the next tallest building in the world that isn't a coincidence?

Living your dreams is not as easy or as hard as we may make it out to be. We just have to start, and don't stop. The same way we start each day and go through that long tedious day right to the end, the same way we go to work each day. What we don't realize is that everything that we do - we decided one day that we were going to start doing it. Our dreams are no different. All we have to do is make that decision to start and not think about whether we will see it through, we just need to start and live each day and include our dreams in each activity, each minute, each hour of our existence. Most of us are too afraid to live our dreams because it’s the one the thing we have in our minds that is perfect – but if we start to live them they will no longer be perfect; there will be sweat and stress and tears and laughter and pain and suffering. We know very well that in order to achieve something great we have to struggle. Our dreams are like our sanctuary – the peaceful part of our mind when everything is in place for them to exist.

If we want to get to that peaceful place we have to go through the struggle. It’s funny how I have never heard anyone say – BE your dream, or IMAGINE your dream. I only hear LIVE your dream. LIVING is not easy. Anyone who still has breath in their lungs and a heart that beats will testify that living is NEVER easy – but like everything else we face life each day with a smile, knowing there will be a struggle. So do the same with those dreams of yours. Face them each day and LIVE them.

Take a look in the mirror.

I hate proud people! Why is he so proud? He walks around thinking he is God’s gift to women!

How many times have you heard these statements and just roll your eyes back and keep going? Most times it is the proud that would make these very statements. It is human nature that we hate most the people who remind us MOST about ourselves. Now I shouldn't use the word “Hate”. Hate is a strong word, but you know what I mean? They dislike them greatly. To a point where they just can’t “stand” to be around them.

Well it never ends with just someone’s character. If someone is fat, 9 out of 10 times the person who will point that out to the entire universe is another fat person!

It’s the whole concept of the speck versus beam in the eye. We’ve heard the parable before – “Why try to remove the speck in your brother’s eye when there is a beam in your own?” this judgmental character flaw of human beings.

If this judgmental nature is part of our human character, then it could explains a lot of behavioral interactions between people. But is it really so difficult to just "like" another person? Why are we so critical of others and do nothing to improve ourselves, especially if other people are critical of us?

I'm not tooting my own horn, but I want to point out a quick example of how people generally behavior and then after an "event" I corrected my behavior. Bear in mind this event from my experience had everything to do with me looking in a mirror; specifically a scale.

After I gained some weight, just about 20 pounds, I stopped calling people fat. When I weighed 115 pounds I "believed" that I was quite in right to call someone who seemed to me to be weighing 200 pounds, FAT, if I so desired. Identifying a 200lb person as fat - to me, at the time - was simply stating a very obvious fact! Now if we go with that premise then another 200 pound person can call a 250 pound person fat and they too will be stating a fact. Now why would someone who 200lbs call someone who is 250 lbs fat, You're both over 150 lbs which is unhealthy for the average woman of middle age anyway! So doesn't Mr. 200 pounder say, "Oh I'm really fat, just like this guy over here who is 250lbs".

I think the obvious point is that we don't like stating FACTS about ourselves. I don't want to announce that I am a poor writer, or a poor mathematician, or a poor singer.

So again - when I was 115 pounds, why is it that when I observed a 200 pound person walking in front of me, I didn't say to myself, Geeze Louise!!! I am really thin!!!! I didn't want to state the FACT that I was really skinny! I didn't want to put the focus on me when there are so many other people that I can focus on.

People live for the external. We never want to speak about ourselves, observe ourselves or take a real self-examination. That is too difficult - it is far easier to look at the other 6 billion people in the world and state facts about them. People do not seem to realize that although we belong to this world population each individual was born, each individual will live a unique and individual life, and each individual will be buried, burned or mummified - die. Does it really matter what other people are doing, saying, eating, acting? So why focus on that.

Focus on what you are doing. When we really observe our daily actions of every hour, minute and second we begin to life a self consciousness which allows us to begin to live fulfilled lives.

To be self conscious, not of the exterior, but of the interior you, is a scary feeling - because for the first time in maybe years you are looking at yourself. You are seeing all the faults, all the imperfections, and you see where you can improve, if you want to or care to. There are some people who will really like what they see and others who will want to change and others that will simply get too depressed with who they are and go back to judging other people to compensate for the judgments they can't bear to cast on themselves.

In the end we either stay the way we are or we change. Like everything else in life we have a choice - to either look in the mirror or not look in the mirror; to either change what we see or don't change what we see; live a conscious life or just go through the motions of life.

Put a smile on your face

Put a smile on your face

I get the feeling that we have reached the age in this human era where everyone is again asking that serious question – What is the meaning of life?

We are no longer satisfied with our meaningless jobs, the pressure of education, of status, symbol and rank. A friend of mine told me recently with a seriousness about it – “We’re all going to die someday – so why worry about the “why are we here” and just live while you are here”

That statement is always easier said than done - because for most of our lives we go about our days without ever thinking about the end of our lives. We are constantly looking back at what we did, we are never concerned with what we are actually doing and we wonder incessantly about what will happen. We dream about a future that hasn’t yet come and dwell too much on the past that has already gone and nothing can be done about it.

Humans are creatures of serious emotions - women in particular. I can only say that because I have lived it and continue to live it. I am not at all saying that men never go through hard times but I am simply sharing the experience – my experience – as a woman in this ever changing world.

My mother says to me all the time – “The more things change the more they remain the same”. When I was younger I could not understand what she was talking about – I still don’t fully understand but the murky waters of all her sayings are beginning to make sense to me as I bloom into womanhood. It’s no fallacy – the older you get the more you start to appreciate the little things in life and to a lesser extent if you really want peace in your life – you start to ignore many things that would you probably have killed for in your younger years. I remember talking to my mother one day – about something that I know i would have never spoken to her about 10 years ago. I can’t remember exactly what it was but I remember the smile she had on her face while I spoke. It was one of those smiles that only a woman has. A smile of – Ah! She is coming of age! A smile that makes a mother feel that she did something right. I’m not a mother, but when I watched my mother smile I understood everything she was saying before she said a word. As if she were telling me – 40 years ago I was in the same situation, or 30 years ago I thought the same thing.

Our generation is not the first generation to hate our jobs, hate our careers, wish we had more control. We are not the first people to ask the million dollar question – What is the meaning of life? We are not the first and we won’t be the last. Women come to accept this fact far earlier than men – because we come to accept a whole lot in our lives. We come to accept but we never give up on life! If we gave up we will never have the episode of mother talking to daughter and smiling sweetly at her daughter in the recognition that she is a woman.

For some reason we as woman know the meaning of life without even knowing that we know. The meaning of life flows in our very veins, it flows through our words, our actions and our smiles. When we smile life seems so natural. We are at peace. We can say to our Creator – Thank you.

Today is one of those days to smile – and stop asking the questions but living in such a way that you live the answer to that question. And live with a smile on your face.

A Beautiful Life Worth Living

Beauty they say is in the eyes of the beholder!

Visiting the Grand Canyon has changed my opinion of this long held belief of this human race. There are things; people; images in this world that can be beautiful to every beholder. I had the wonderful experience of visiting the Grand Canyon this past week and I can say without a doubt that it is the first Great Wonder of the world that I have seen. I say my first because I firmly believe that after visiting the Grand Canyon – I know for a fact that this world – no matter how ugly we human beings try to make it - is beautiful. I say IS in the present tense, because the world “was not” beautiful or “can be” beautiful. It IS beautiful. Further it will not be the last Great Wonder of the world that I will see - God Willing.

There is beauty in every tree, every deer, every sunrise, every sunset; every person. Before this week I was unable to see beauty in everything, but when you are afforded the opportunity to partake and participate in one of the world’s wonders you are just unable to say ever again that “beauty only exists in some things”. Beauty exists in everything. We often find ourselves sitting out our little lives on the side lines; sitting behind our desks, in front of our TVs and wonder what does life hold for us? Life holds exactly what you give it!

I needed this rest, this retreat, to do something outside the norm so that I can say definitely to myself that “Life is Worth Living”. I have read it in many books, watched it on several TV programs but I have rarely done anything that has showed me that life is worth living.

This past week I experienced things I had watched others do or watched on TV or read in a book. This week I had the chance to do it all for myself. To taste the heat of the dessert; watch the sunrise over the world’s most fascinating rock formations; ride a horse for the first time in more than 10 years!, fly in a hot air balloon!!

Naturally things like sky diving although I say I will never do, this trip has given a little bit of courage to be able to say “Maybe some day”.

I hiked!!! I hiked!!! I hiked down into the Grand Canyon to Cedar Ridge. Cedar Ridge not one of the natural ridges of the Canyon but just as challenging. I was able to go hiking!

From all the vantage points I was able to view the world up there. I was able to see the real beauty of the world and actually feel like I was apart of it. I felt connected to the horse, the rock formation, the sunrise, the sunset, the river, the lake. I felt connected and this is why I say partaking and participating in the beauty that surrounds us. As much as we try to destroy what is beautiful we have to remember that without us there will be no beauty as well. Because who will see all this beauty who will watch in amazement at the deer crossing the street? Who will watch the Colorado River flow through the canyon? Who will capture the Historic Watchtower on film? We will! Because we know what beauty is. Beauty is everywhere.

Don’t let your life pass you by. If there is something out there that you want to do, but you keep telling yourself – I don’t have the time, or the money, or the energy – just get out there and do it. We have one chance, one chance in this small world to make a difference, to do something for you, to something that will make you feel apart of this world.

Don’t watch the world from the sidelines – enjoy and live life to the fullest. Remember we are all given something on this earth – Life – and like anything you are given it can be taken away so enjoy it while you have it.

Faith, Hope and Love All.